i figure it`s about time i should update about my life. well, as usual school is school. it seems to me that i have dedicated my well being to this whole nursing thing. then again, i feel like i am slacking which makes me feel.... really DUMB! i can get myself really disappointed easily when it comes to my grades and the skills that i perform in the hospitals. for instance last week, when we were all assigned to our patients, my clinical instructor started to ask me questions that usually he doesn't ask me about, about a patient. i was sure of what to say,... i felt ready and prepared. i knew the case of my patient, all the basic information. plus, i had a partner in crime, so i wasn't afraid for when my c.i. starts to ask us questions, because i thought, if i don't have an answer to his question, then at least my partner would be able to help me out. WRONG. we both just stood there looking ridiculously stupid. he asked us questions about different actions of different drugs. my fault, i didn't study the charts well. to be honest, i wanted to cry because i felt like a failure, we didn't answer any of his questions that day.

there are times when i degrade myself because i feel like my intellectual abilities don't reach or aren't at the same pace as my other "smart" classmates. i can feel sometimes left behind when it comes to a subject about a certain case and my classmates starts to talk about it as if it`s some kind of juicey gossip. that is how easy it is for them to understand.. (or at least remember).

my friends say my grades are pretty high and tell me that i am doing fine and for the most part, that i don't have any failed or back subjects. i am indeed greatful for that. i guess i am just grade conscious. i want to be consistent with my grades, but i don't know.. i think i procrastinate too much. (: well, like my c.i. said, we still have a long ass way to go. or other words, more days to procrastinate? haha..

i am forever grateful that my c.i. did ask those questions, because at least i know what to do next time whenever we have duty in a different hospital (which would be next monday) with a new clinical instructor. now at least i could say that i am prepared and ready. DONNA, READ EVERYTHING ON THE CHARTS DAMNIT.


donna

zombiee.

night shift has messed up my sleeping habbits ;(

OMFGAHHHHHHH i am like hella stressed. I have to finish all these requirements before I go back to the states. Mannnnnn I can`t wait until all of this is over. I remember doing a report about stress. It`s my time to shine and apply it.

1) STOP

2)BREATHE ( remember that you are STILL ALIVE. so don`t forget to breathe once in awhile. hahh)

3) RELAX __ whose gonna gimme a foot massage!

4) CHOOSE. chooooose youuu.

Unli-life.

I donated blood today! I was actually the first one there to donate, but there was another guy who came soon afterwards so I wasn't alone. And even if he wasn't there, I still wouldn't be alone.. I got my friends there to support me. :-) It felt so good once the procedure was done. I feel like supahhmannn.


Dont Lose Hope,
Donna

Julienne

The memory that I am about to share about her is probably.. the only most memorable moment we have ever had. Well, I remember attending one of the Villaruz party.. and i remember one of the Tita's were taking out the ingrown from her toe. I was sitting next to julienne and because she was so terrified, she held my hand.. and I held hers.

As I ponder back upon this memory, I can't help myself but smile. She of all people, would be afraid of a little ingrown in her toe - yet, she was not afraid with the fact that her life could be taken away any day,.. any second.

And when I think about my life, about how or when I would die, I shudder with fear with just the thought of it. Death is inevitable. It is so unexpected, yet it is. It brings pain, yet it makes people stronger.

I have already experienced losing the loves of my life. I have moved on, but that doesn't mean I have already forgotten. I wish Julienne was still here to hold my hand, just like I held hers, to reassure me that everything will be okay.

Julienne died because of cancer. She was a very young, beautiful woman. Even though we weren't close, I hope you felt the love I had for you from the exchanged greetings, smiles and laughter we shared everytime we saw each other. I love you! Sleep well little one. And please tell my mom that I miss her everyday <3


Don't Lose Hope,
Donna

amazing race

OH yeah.. it was amazing alright. But it was without a doubt funnn :) the race consisted of:

-everyone in my team has to eat something really shady. Like.. Ketchup.. or attay. <- hella disgusting

-had to position ourselves on the right hollow block without touching the floor

-ramon and i had to catch a frog while my other team mates had worms in their shirts

-had to answer some questions related to nursing.

-we had to make our way to a certain point using newspapers.. then we had to go inside these trashcans filled with water and dye and find padlocks.

-we had to memorize a certain pattern of pictures for 30 seconds. then we had to find the pictures by partners (yeah we had to tie our legs together) around the field and out them in order <- we made ONE mistake

-they made a maze inside one of the classrooms. PITCH DARK inside there. Goal: To make sure the candle is still lit when we make it out of the room. At the end of the maze.. there's a question we had to answer. <- got that wrong too.

-we then had to form a circle and all of us had to tie our legs together and reach a certain tree and go back. (it hella hurtss). while moving, we got the chance to know a little something about each other.. we had too because then they would ask a question about one of the team members and jemille had to answer it.

- then we had to decipher a code that resulted to two questions and we had to answer it. Pretty easy but hella long.

-then our last challenge was.. we had to fill half of a shot glass with our TEARS. shaddy. hahaha.

erickson :)

Had a gooood day today :) HE talked to me !! it was really casual but i couldn't stop smiling on the way back from san jose :)




Don't Lose Hope,
Donna

"Ekis"

I probably lost 2 pounds from laughing so much last night. Charisse and Crystal came over last night to do our history project on Tondod, San Jose for our final eval. in CHN. We did a little documentation from the pictures and videos that i took. its so friggen sexy !@#$%^&*! fckin shit yes. i will post it one day when my internet decides not to be bum and is actually fast. It's so beautiful, it will make you cry. Sir Marco was cool enough to lend me his nikon slr camera to take pictures with. Omgggahh the magic and joyyy of holding a professional camera. joy joy joy joy joy. =) i'll post the pictures i took with it when i get them. anywho i'm playing hookie tom! i'm not going to schoool because i am a badddddd girrrlllll. SIKE. its cuz im going to manila for my passport. Bah-boo for now!









Don't Lose Hope,
Donna

Got Blood?!

Sorry for the small ass font from my last blog. I tried to resize it but it wouldn't. Anyways, today i couldn't stand being at home. I had to get my ass out of the house. Ruby was kind enough to invite me to whatever plans she had today. We ate our lunch @ Jeriza's house, then went to school to attend their meeting. I'VE DECIDED I'M GOING TO DONATE BLOOOD! for two reasons:
1) because i can save 3 lives; and
2) i can finally get my tattoo.

The whole meeting thing was pretty fun. It was for the red cross organization and i felt i was invading their privacy because i wasn't part of the organization. Buttttt it seems cool, i'll most likely join it next semester.






Don't Lose Hope,
Donna

birthday girl

Yesterday was Tita Marivic's birthday,


but it felt like it was mine.. (:





Don't Lose Hope,
Donna

hang in there dad.

my tita marivic tells me that my dad is in the hospital. The doc says his condition isn't good. Should i be surprised? or should i just suck it all in because this isn't the first, nor the third or seventh but rather a great number of times he's been in there. then tita marivic said something that made my heart pause a few seconds. "i hope we'll still reach him when we go back in march".

i hope. I HOPE? what's that suppose to mean? that there's a possibility he'll be gone before march? and the doc says his condition isn't doing good, wth is that suppose to mean too?

i went home earlier from the mall happy because i bought myself some really cute shirts. i was stupid. i should have stayed there a little bit longer.



instead, i went home and i am now in this kind of pain. pain. pain is inevitable. to struggle, i suppose, is a choice.

To love and to Be loved.

You know, it`s kinda nice to see someone I love, happy.
To know that their doing ok.
Especially when that person doesn't know that their loved by me.
That's probably the best part of it. :)







Don't Lose Hope,
Donna

C.H.N.

Two times a week, I have CHN which stands for Community Health Nursing. We go to depressed areas and do our service for the society. Today I brought my camera (finally) and took some shots of what we see every time we go there. Take a glimpse of the life of Tondod, San Jose zone 1

Unfold

i know it sounds all emo, but ITS NICE! all of marie digby's songs are great (: i recommend it. go get yourself a copy peeps! or just steal em online x]

long distance

I've never been so bored in my life. MMkayy so probably i've had worse days. So today i've been downloading songs and I came across this one song, "Long Distance" by Brandy. And a particular guy popped up in my head. And it just sucks, just thinking about 'what if's', what would happen if I was back there and not here? I know he's probably moved on and doesn't think about me much. I've moved on I guess you can say, but that didn't mean I forgot about him. I think of him from time to time. I don't mean too, he just crosses my mind all of a sudden. And I can't help but miss him. I can't really talk to anyone about this. There's really no one talk to about this this situation. =(

There`s only so many songs that i can sing to pass the time.
And i`m running out of things to do to get you off my mind (oh whoa).
All i have is this picture in a frame (oh ah),
That i hold close to see your face everyday.

With you is where i`d rather be,
But we`re stuck where we are.
It`s so hard, you`re so far..
This long distance is killing me.
I wish that you are here with me,
But we`re stuck where we are
It`s so hard, you`re so far.. (so hard, you`re so far..)
This long distance is killing me.

It`s so hard, it`s so hard, where we are, where we are, you`re so far.
This long distance is killing me.
It`s so hard, it`s so hard, where we are, where we are, you`re so far
(so hard, so hard, where we are, where we are, your so far).
This long distance is killing me.

Now the minutes feel like hours
And the hours feel like days.. (whoa oh whoa)
While i`m away (way-ay)
You know right now i can`t be home (ah)
But i`m coming home soon (ah)
Coming home soon.. (ah a hah)
All i have is this picture in a frame (ah),
That i hold close to see your face everyday.

With you is where i`d rather be (where i`d rather be..),
But we`re stuck where we are (oh oh).
It`s so hard, (oh ah) you`re so far.. (oh ah)
This long distance is killing me.
I wish that you are here with me (you are here with me),
But we`re stuck where we are (oh oh)
It`s so hard, (oh ah) you`re so far.. (oh ah)

Can you hear me crying?
Ooh (oh-oh oh-oh)
Can you hear me crying? (oh-oh ah!)
Ooh (oh-oh oh-oh)
Can you hear me crying? (oh-oh ah!)
Ooh (oh-oh oh-oh)
Ooh woo whoa ah ah oh ah (oh-oh ah!)
Uh ah uh ah whoa0h ah (oh-oh oh-oh)

With you is where i`d rather be (where i`d rather be..) whoa!
(but we`re stuck where we are) oh!
(it`s so hard) so hard (your so far), so far
(this long distance is killing me) this long distance is killing me
I wish that you are here with me (you are here with me) me..
(but we`re stuck where we are) stuck where we are! so hard! so far
This long distance is killing me

It`s so hard, it`s so hard, where we are, where we are, you`re so far.
This long distance is killing me.
It`s so hard, it`s so hard, where we are, where we are, you`re so far
(so hard, so hard, where we are, where we are, your so far).
This long distance is killing me.

There`s only so many songs that i can sing to pass the time.

i think this song pretty much tackled everything i would have like to said.

Don't Lose Hope,
Donna

stresssin over a blesssin.

i have a long ass exam tomorrow on science & techonology PLUS a report about STRESS.

and to deal with this stress.. where the hell are the chocolates at?!


p.s. have you ever felt betrayed even though there's no reason for you to feel that way? yeaauhh. me too mang. me too.

Royalty.

We met the PRESIDENT............
































of Wesleyan University of the Philippines for the first time today :) haha we had our oath taking today for our "WUP ISO" organization. meaning WUP international student organization. HOLLAH (: so this morning i was smoking on some natural highness. i swear i was laughing at practically everythingggg. "look! its sir, and hes wearing stripes.. HAHA." "heyy its cinderellas tsinelas! HAHA". "hey its your face! HAHA"

I'm not in love

&& i'm finished wasting words, writing songs about boys.

i was watching "little miss sunshine" and for some random reason, it made me realize that i need to stop wasting my time on boys. i'm giving up on giving effort for trying or texting or talking to guys. i think i had enough of flirting. and it just made me realize that all this flirting non-sense either makes me or the other guy hurt in the end. and i'm just not that kind of girl.. i'm sickkk and tireddd everytime a guy gets mad at me for something i started and i end up feeling like shit in the end of the day. i learned my lesson and i can't fool these guys, i just find myself fooling myself.

i'm 18. single. and loving EVERY s.i.n.g.l.e minuteeeeee of it. yes sir, SINGLE, and READY to mingle. that's right, i am ready to meet new people and maybe even enter a "serious" relationship. but i'm gonna do it right this time. i'm not going to search for him nor am i going to wait for him. i'm still going to continue living my life and have fun. but when he does suddenly 'appear' in my life in the right time, i won't give in so much like i usually do. i'm tired of trying to win a guys heart. this time, 'he's' gona try to win my heart. your just gona have to do more than that.

It's Christmas Again

Super 5 finally had our gift exchange today :) It was hilarious because I remember sunshine asking me for help to pick out some earrings for her "cousin". She described her as "she likes to wear a lot of 'bling bling' " haha and this whole time I was the one she picked. Afterwords we ate @ mcdonalds, and there i go again, embarassing myself --we ordered chocolate sundaes and i unconciously blew a spoon full of ice cream, as if it was hella hott. hahaha


Anyways, i'm getting a tattoo next month. FOR SURE. God won't get mad at me right? I mean, it's not a sin or whatever right? At least the tattoo that i'm getting has meaning to it. I'm so excited i think i'm gonna piss in my pants. :)

Don't Lose Hope,
Donna

Monthly Visitor >=[

WELPS its the time of the month where every woman has a visitor. Today's the first day and i friggen ate too much !! I hate having periods. It just makes me gain weight and feel ugly about myself. Being a female is so damn hard. Other than that, i had duty earlier, that was a workout. Then i stopped by school before i went home to talk to thee best friend. when you see someone you care for hurting, it just sucks you know. it's like having to watch someone eat your donut in front of you and u can't do anything about it cuz the person's saliva is all over the damn thing. but i know that all problems will be solved. it just takes time. && for the donut, i know i could just buy another one. :-)


Don't Lost Hope,
Donna

Justice League!

So my college set up this meeting for all the foreigners who study in the school. It was cool meeting them. It felt like I was talking to my homies back home. haha and so we made our own little organization. "the foreigners" haha or i think its.. "international FSO?" ... or just plain .."JUSTICE LEAGUE!"

Back II School

I'M SO LAZY TO STUDY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and my hair is pissing me off. help anyone?!

sheryl, the small but terrible

it was sheryl's debut yesterday && i do not have enough fingers to count how many times i embarrassed myself. But it`s okay, the things i do for love :) for the most part, we disco'd like we were in the 1970's. && the boys had it all good with the belly dancers with huge boobs.

p.s. how can i not mention all THE HOTTIES WHO WERE THERE! i wouldn't mind being part of sheryl's family :-)

(message to sheryl)"make your own destiny"- Tito Ray
"i'll make my own destiny, and i choose sheryls older brother ;D"- me

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED :)

soo sheryl came over earlier and we composed a song for her debut within ONE hour. it`s a surprise for her parents. yeah mang ! i feel like a ninja (:

New year, new blogg.

Shit son, I was hella drunk last night. I knew I was talking and talking and talkinggggg but I forgot what the hell I was saying.

Wow so it's 09. 08 has been good to me. From the beginning of 08 to the last second of it, 08 has been perhaps the best year of my life. I met new people, I still kept my true friends, and despite the fact that I'm miles apart from my family and friends back home, I got to see mostly everyone that I love and care for that year. Truth be honest, it was kind of hard for me to let go of 08. Even though there were times when I broke down, God always gave me something to smile about. I will never forget the great memories that I made last year, all the drama that came about, the retardedness I made, the summer love, the heartbreaks, the people who stayed in my life and the new ones who made last year even more wonderful.



Don't Lose Hope,
donna


p.s. && in the end, cece drove herself home. HAHA. that's probably the only thing i remembered saying last ngiht.

Here's a pic of the big ass confetti from last night.
Happy 09 everyone.